ART

In high school it's almost impossible to define yourself as an artist. I should know so since I've never been taken seriously as an artist myself. A friend of mine Tyler Lovell was unfortunately killed a few days ago sometime last weekend in a car crash on the way back from a car accident. Now I didn't know him as well as I would have liked to but I do know this. He considered a broad variety of anything art. In fact his own art was strange and some of his pieces looked like a five year old drew them but a select few looked like a real paid famous artist had done them. His out look on life was something to be admired for sure along with his lifestyle and ways of living. He was extremely smart and logical. He is something to remember. I thought a lot about him today in my own art class and how lives can be taken for granted. One second someone is talking shit about you and the next second  you could be dead. I wondered how my school's reaction would be if I where to die. Would my death be publicized on facebook? Would people I hardly knew try to become my best friends? Would people regret not hanging out with me as much or regret not listening to me when I reached out to them open arms, heart split, spilling, dripping, waiting for some one or something to notice how I feel or how I am? Would people remember me for my art? Would I become famous for what I did? Would anybody flat out care? I know my boyfriend would and my family would but I don't know so much about my "friends" I don't know so much about how or if they would even react. So far I've discovered that life is like art. it can be dirty, neat, copied, influenced, natural, forced, detailed, simple it could be anything YOU make it. But starting over with a new stretch of canvas or a small piece of paper or a new page in your sketch book is what's liberating and could define who you are and what your style is, it could be whatever you want and every person who sees it could think whatever they know about it but they'll never understand until they know you personally inside and out, what you feel, how you where brought up, what's going on. They will never know how you are until they know you.

[tuesday, november 15th]